• Annex Team

Soft Ghosting is Ghosting with Manners

Updated: Dec 6, 2019

By: Rebecca Brando, September 11, 2019

Most of us have experienced some form of Ghosting aka the Silent Treatment in our lives. We’ve all had that date or friend we never heard from again. The looming unanswered blank space can feel awful and like you maybe did something wrong to deserve such a severe reaction.

Ghosters are pretty much the coldest of the bunch. As if the abusive act of ignoring and discarding of someone wasn’t enough, we now have the Ghost’s evil cousin - The Soft Ghost. The term “Soft Ghosting” is now a thing. It’s when someone “loves” your last message but never actually responds.

By simply like-reacting, the Ghoster is technically replying and therefore not leaving you in the dust...yet, that is. To Soft Ghost is a convenient way for one to leave the door slightly ajar in case they want to fade back into your life for some reason.

Soft Ghosting doesn’t just happen in dating. Anyone can Soft Ghost you, from friends, acquaintances, family, roommates, including the dreaded co-worker. The term Soft Ghosting made its debut in the headlines when a meme created by the Instagram profile, Overheard LA ,went viral. Overheard is an account that claims to post overheard conversations in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York.

Soft Ghosting appears to be Ghosting with manners. It’s still a cruel response but in the nicest way possible. I was Soft Ghosted by a friend. While awaiting a response, I saw that my comment was “liked.” I was confused on how to respond. For starters, Android users don’t have such magic on our messaging. The double tap was a feature that I had believed was solely available on Instragram DMs - I had no idea it was also an iMessage feature.

I had to wonder if the half-assed liked comment response was the end of our conversation or if I was supposed to keep texting back? I came to understand quickly that the little thumbs up on my text meant “I’m done with this convo.” You can’t help but feel a bit slighted and dissatisfied you didn’t get a full response.

Let's face it, Soft Ghosting is an easy out for those who don’t have the guts to communicate disinterest. So what should you do if you fall victim to Soft Ghosting?

It’s important to remember the behavior of Soft Ghosting says more about them than you. Taking a risk to tell someone how you really feel has benefits — even if it’s not what they want to hear. Don’t let Ghosting affect your self-esteem and remember to draw boundaries in the relationship if the Ghost returns.

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